


The Lafitte Cousins (and Their Parents)

by Wingsandcoffee



Series: The Lafitte Cousins [3]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Benny and Balthazar worrying for no reason, F/M, Family, Fluff, Humor, M/M, srsly mostly humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-14
Updated: 2016-02-14
Packaged: 2018-05-20 14:53:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,439
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6012634
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Wingsandcoffee/pseuds/Wingsandcoffee
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Benny and Balthazar finally introduce their boyfriends to their parents.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Lafitte Cousins (and Their Parents)

**Author's Note:**

> I said I'd have it up before the close of Valentine's Day and here it is. (It's 3:20 PST as I type this note) I hope you like!

 

 

Sunday morning found Benny and Balthazar smoking on the cabin’s boat dock. Balthazar tapped his cigarette over the ashtray “I thought you quit.”

Benny blew out a puff of smoke “So did I. But I kept a pack around for emergencies.”

“Shouldn’t have done that.”

“I know, I know. Dean hates it; one reason why I quit or tried to anyway.”

“You shouldn’t have to change yourself for him.”

“I said one reason. You know, Grand-père Lafitte died of lung cancer. That increases both our chances and we should both quit. What does Cas think of your smoking?”

Balthazar sighed “He doesn’t complain, as long as I brush my teeth afterwards. And he always makes sure I pay attention to those ‘This is why smoking is bad’ commercials whenever we watch television together.”

“So he wants you to quit but he’s not being overt about it?”

“Yes, unlike some people, I’m sure.”

Benny crushed his cigarette “Dean’s not overt, he just… looks at me. We really should both quit.”

Balthazar put his cigarette out as well “I know, if not for our boyfriends, we should at least do it to please our mothers.”

“Yep” Benny stretched his arms over his head “speaking of, I reckon we should tell Dean and Cas what to expect tonight and make sure we don’t smell like smoke by the time we get there.”

Balthazar rubbed his ear “Yeah.”

“Your ear hurt?”

“No, just thinking about the risks.”

“Come on, let’s get inside and get breakfast started.”

…

“Your parents live in this country?” Cas asked Balthazar once they all sat down to a breakfast of sausage and eggs.

Balthazar nodded “They moved here when I was at Uni.”

“And started a Bed & Breakfast with my parents” Benny added. “Our dads are very close.”

“Being identical twins and all.”

“Oh” Cas nodded in understanding “that explains it. Genetically, you two are half-brothers, if your fathers are identical twins.”

“How does that work?” Dean asked.

“I just said” Cas said. “Dean, identical twins have identical DNA, having split from the same fertilized egg. A DNA test wouldn’t be able to tell their fathers apart and it would read as Balthazar and Benny as being half-brothers.”

“Oh. That why you two are so close?”

Benny nodded and swallowed the food he had in his mouth “That and neither one of us have any actual brothers. Just sisters on both sides.”

“Will they be at dinner?” Cas asked.

“God, I hope not” Balthazar said. “Anyway, we’d like to tell you gentlemen what to expect tonight. The first thing you should know, is that our dads were conjoined till they were seven.” The family hadn’t been able to afford the operation to separate them till then “And they are both missing a leg.”

“It’s pretty easy to tell them apart ‘cos of that” Benny put in “My dad doesn’t have his right leg and Bally’s doesn’t have his left.”

“And they have different canes.”

“Is Uncle Pierre their brother?” Dean asked.

“Older brother, yeah. But don’t worry, they’re not quite as Parisian as him, mostly due to the influence of our mothers. However, they can be a little…”

“They’re the French Weasley twins all right” Benny interrupted “So just…keep your hand at the level of your eye.”

Balthazar stared at him “Yes, because they leave random nooses hanging around.”

“You never know! You remember what they did in Box Five.”

“Box Five?” Dean and Cas asked.

“Don’t ask” Benny and Balthazar said as one.

…

All too soon the two couples were on their way to the outskirts of Baton Rouge where Balthazar and Benny’s parents lived.

“So let me get this straight,” Dean said from the driver’s seat (for some reason they’d all driven down to Louisiana for the holiday in Dean’s car) “six months we’ve all been together and you guys are just know introducing us to your parents?” It was true, Benny and Balthazar met Dean and Cas on the same day and each couple got together within a week of each other) “You’ve met Sam, Benny.”

“And you’ve met Gabriel, Balthazar” Cas said. “And they’re the only two of our families that are worth the effort.” And wasn’t that just heart-breaking?

“Merge into the next lane over” Benny instructed Dean “Things have been busy, cher.”

“Are you embarrassed by them?” Cas asked “We didn’t even know your parents were still living.”

Benny glanced at Balthazar in the rearview mirror and he looked just as contrite as Benny felt. Balthazar cleared his throat and said “We’re not embarrassed per se, it’s just…all right, the last time we brought anyone home to meet, we were dating a pair of sisters…”

“Naomi and Rachel” Benny said “pretty little things but they got scared off. You gotta understand, we love both sets of our parents but they put our prospective partners through the ringer.”

“We’re their only sons, you know, and oldest children and we’re the only ones who haven’t settled down and gotten married yet. And while they are accepting of the fact we both swing a myriad of ways, they still want grandchild from us—at least of us has to continue the Lafitte line. We’re just worried about how they’ll treat you. They’re old world, you know.”

Dean spared a quick glance at Benny “So what did your folks do to scare off a couple of chicks?”

“Naomi didn’t want children for one” Balthazar said. “But really, our parents, especially our dads don’t hide their opinions. They will tell you exactly what they think of you. Naomi and Rachel just couldn’t handle that. Can the two of you?”

“Dean” Benny put hand on Dean’s thigh “if you feel the need to defend yourself, please do but please don’t be disrespectful.”

“What the fuck?” Dean spat, clearly offended “Why would you think I’d be disrespectful?”

Before Benny could answer, it was Cas who spoke up “Because it’s your habit, Dean. When someone insults you, you insult them right back, often with louder voice and more colorful metaphors. Don’t be angry with Benny for knowing you.”

Dean grumbled but then took a deep breath “I’ll try.”

“That’s all I ask, cher.”

…

Benny’s mother’s family was able to trace their roots back to the first Acadians who came down to Louisiana from Canada. They were also quite famous in the gator-hunting community. Balthazar’s mother’s family had a haunted castle in the English countryside. The Lafitte’s, allegedly, used to have a castle in the Bordeaux region but it was apparently destroyed by Visigoths—Balthazar wasn’t sure he believed that.

Balthazar and Benny’s parents’ bed and breakfast was called La Maison de Alligator for some reason. It had fifteen guest rooms and was some weird Cajun, French and English mash-up but it was apparently very popular.

As they neared the bed and breakfast, Balthazar saw someone familiar walking along the sidewalk. “Dean, stop the car please.”

“What why?”

“Benny, isn’t that our prodigal nephew?”

Benny looked “Well I’ll be ding-danged.” They both got out of the car before it came to a complete stop. Benny called to the young man “Remy!”

Remy froze and turned around “Uncle Benny? And Uncle Balthazar?”

Benny crossed his arms “Where on God’s green earth have you been, boy?”

Balthazar stood next to him “I hope you’re here to make things right with your mother.”

Remy was indignant “It wasn’t my fault!”

“Well, your daddy’s dead now so you don’t have an excuse not to see your mama” Benny said.

“You should see your grandparents too” Balthazar added.

Even though he was wearing dark sunglasses, it was obvious the boy rolled his eyes “What are you two doing here? Last I heard you were living in the Dakotas or somewhere. And what’s with the old car?”

“Hey!” Dean and Castiel had also gotten out of the car and were leaning against it. “Don’t be insulting my baby’s age.”

“And who are they?” Remy said, completely ignoring Dean’s remark.

Benny pinched the bridge of his nose “Remy, these are our boyfriends. Dean’s mine and Cas is Bally’s. Fellas, this is my sister’s boy, Remy.”

An eyebrow rose over the rim of Remy’s sunglasses “Boyfriends? You two? Really?”

“Yes, child” Balthazar said “is that so hard to believe?”

Remy chuckled “Kinda.”

Dean stepped away from the car “And why’s that?”

Remy smirked at him “Are you related to a man named Logan? I know you’ve only said a couple of things to me but there’s just something ‘bout your tone and your posture that reminds me of him.”

“What?”

“Really?” Balthazar said “and all this time he was reminding me of you. Remy, child, it’s so nice to see you haven’t lost your impertinence in your absence from the family.”

“You been talking to Scotty?”

“Who?”

Benny cleared his throat loudly “All right, that’s enough. Dean, please cher, just don’t. Bally, shut yer trap. And Remy, who the hell are Logan and Scotty?”

Remy’s smirk disappeared “No one.”

“Well I trust you’ll at least tell your mama ‘bout your new friends.” Benny glanced at his watch “Okay, we have to get to dinner with your grandparents and great-aunt and uncle. You, young man will go home to your mama and I will call her later to make sure you did. Okay?”

Remy sighed “Yeah, yeah, long as I’m here.”

“Good boy.”

…

 

Their mothers greeted them at the door.

“Mama!” Benny hugged his mother and kissed her cheeks.

“Mum!” Balthazar hugged and kissed his. “It’s been too long.”

Beatrice Lafitte stepped back and whacked his shoulder “And whose fault is that, Balthazar Sebastian?”

Balthazar rubbed his shoulder “Mine?”

Rosemarie Lafitte tugged on Benny’s ear “And what’s your excuse, young man?”

“I don’t have one, Mama, I’m sorry. Hi, Auntie Trixie.”

“Benediction” Trixie pulled him into a hug, “have you been keeping an eye on your cousin?”

“Hey!”

“Hay is for horses, Bally” Rosie hugged him.

“Aunt Rosie.”

“Now, are you boys going to introduce us to your young men?”

Balthazar pulled Cas next him “This is my boyfriend, Castiel Shurley.”

“And this is my boyfriend, Dean Winchester” Benny had an arm around Dean’s waist.

“Gentlemen” Balthazar continued “our mothers, Beatrice and Rosemarie Lafitte.”

Cas nodded “It’s a pleasure to finally meet you, Mrs. Lafitte and Mrs. Lafitte.”

“It sure is” Dean said.

Both women regarded Cas and Dean carefully. But the cousins knew that their mothers would hold off their opinions till after they got Cas and Dean alone, most likely in the kitchen.

“Well come in” Trixie said “dinner will be ready in half an hour and your fathers would like to chat before then.”

Balthazar and Benny shared a look and barely refrained from sobbing hyperbolically.

…

Jean-Luc and François Lafitte were sitting in their respective chairs in the living room of the private residence part of the B&B.

“You boys are late” François said, twirling his cane in his hand.

“By five minutes!” Balthazar sputtered.

Benny sighed and said to his father, Jean-Luc “We saw Remy in town, you remember him, your oldest grandson. We had to make sure he was here to see his mother.”

“How is he?” Rosie asked “we haven’t seen him in ten years.”

Jean-Luc held up a hand “We will speak of the boy later. Introductions, si vous plait?”

Benny and Balthazar introduced their boyfriends to their dads. Dean and Cas were just as polite as with their mothers—i.e. Cas did the talking and Dean agreed with him. Then they all sat down.

Balthazar raised a hand “May I ask something? Papa, Uncle Jean-Luc, why are you both wearing berets and dressed like mimes without the face paint? I thought Uncle Pierre got you out of that habit.”

The twins wore Cheshire Cat grins but said nothing except “How about some wine before dinner?”

“I’ll get it” Rosie said and got up to do just that.

Benny barely refrained from sighing again “So, what’s for dinner?”

“Blanquette de Veau” Trixie answered, “Castiel, Dean, I hope you like veal.”

Dean nodded “Absolutely. We used to go hunting with my godfather all the time.”

“You boys have known each other long?”

“Since seventh grade” Castiel answered “when my family moved to Sioux Falls.”

Rosie came back with a tray of filled wine glasses and she passed them around “So are you boys from South Dakota?”

Dean shook his head “I was born in Kansas, ma’am, but Dad moved us there when I was six.”

“And you Castiel?” Trixie said “You said you moved to Sioux Falls when you were in seventh grade?”

“Yes ma’am.”

“Where are you from?”

Cas got that deer in headlights look and Balthazar chuckled and patted his shoulder “It’s okay, darling. You can tell her you’re from Boston, she hates tea.”

Trixie smiled “With a passion hotter than a thousand suns.”

“How did you boys meet?” François asked, looking between the two couples.

“Shooting range” Benny answered.

Jean-Luc rolled his eyes “You wanna elaborate, boy?”

Balthazar snorted and then cleared his throat “Around six months ago, Benny dragged me to the shooting range one Saturday and that’s where we met Cas and Dean.”

“And what were you two doing there?” François asked Dean and Cas.

Dean chuckled “That’s what’s funny, our brothers had set us up with blind dates. We didn’t want to but they went behind our backs and we couldn’t back out. So we went.

“Our dates however never showed up” Cas said. After a moment his eyes widened “Wait a minute.”

Cas and Dean shared a look and as one said “Oh” and then started laughing, Dean muttering something like ‘everyone shipped us but us.’

Benny leaned into Balthazar and whispered “I don’t know whether to kill Sam and Gabe or thank them.”

“My opinion on that matters wavers from day to day” Balthazar whispered back. They chanced a look at their parents who looked bemused, confused and calculating.

Rosie stood up again, “Trix, I think it’s time to check dinner. Dean, Castiel, you boys wanna give us a hand?”

Of course, Dean and Cas agreed, since they agreed to be respectful; that, naturally, left Benny and Balthazar alone with their fathers.

“So Dean” they heard Rosie say as the women led Dean and Cas away “how’d my big bear son snag such a cutie like you?”

Benny’s face burned red and buried it in a throw pillow.

…

Balthazar felt for Benny’s plight, he truly did and he could only imagine what his own mother had in store for Cas.

“Benediction” Jean-Luc said “sit up straight before you suffocate.”

Benny immediately responded to his father’s command and complied “Yes, Papa.”

“Six months, you’ve been involved with these young men and we’re just now finding out?” François tended to do most of the talking as he tended to be the more level headed of the twins (he claimed it was because he’d spent so much time in England but Jean-Luc said that was just the way things had always been).

“And we had to find out from ton oncle?” Jean-Luc added.

“Well that was Benny’s fault for calling on Uncle Pierre in the first place.”

Benny whacked Balthazar’s shoulder “Traitor! And you were the one worried ‘bout Dean and Cas being in the crowds.”

“Well if had agreed to a hotel instead of staying in that ridiculous—“

“A hotel?! Are you out of your limey mind? We would have had to reserve a room when we first met them!”

Balthazar scoffed “Limey? Oh that’s really insulting when we’re both half-Frog” he covered his mouth at the realization of what he said. He dared look at his father and uncle. “I’m sorry.”

“Balthazar Sebastian” François said with a touch of warning.

“Je suis très désole.”

François cleared his throat “Now that you two ‘ave finished your little spat, shall we get back on topic?”

Benny nodded “Yes sirs.”

“Why did you not tell us of your relationships?”

Balthazar and Benny shared a look and Balthazar said “For the same reasons you scared off Naomi and Rachel.”

Jean-Luc sighed “Well, as long as you two aren’t really engaging in an incestuous relationship.”

“WHAT?!”

François chuckled “Oh some of your sisters thought…”

“Which ones?” Balthazar growled.

Jean-Luc waved a hand “Not important. We’ll discuss your tardiness in informing us later. Dinner should be ready any moment.”

…

Dinner went surprisingly well, so well it left Balthazar feeling kind of suspicious. Benny too, if the look on his face was anything to go by. Cas and Dean raved over the cooking as was proper and the parents asked all sorts of questions. They posed normal questions to Cas and Dean, like what did they do for a living (writer and classic car restored respectively), if their parents were still living (no in Cas’s case, only his dad in Dean’s), how old they were (37), if they had any siblings and other such things.

It was weird because their dads didn’t ask any questions like “How many partners have you been with?” like they had with previous girlfriends. They’d asked that, likely, because Grand-père Lafitte had been misogynistic fucktard who’d left a splash of influence on his two straight sons. But they didn’t ask that to Cas and Dean. It was jarring because you’d think they would considering they used to be of the mind that men who slept with other men were promiscuous (which had a lot to do with Uncle Pierre’s past exploits).

When dinner was over and the group moved off for more wine and chatting, Benny pulled Balthazar aside “What’s going on?”

“I don’t know. I’m just as baffled as you are. It seems our parents actually like our boyfriends.”

“And they’re not being…themselves. Our dads aren’t being rude to them” Benny grabbed Balthazar’s shoulders “I don’t get it, Bally!”

“Calm down, man! Pull yourself together.”

Benny took a deep breath and let him go “You’re right. I’m sorry. I guess this is…good?”

“I suppose so. I can’t help but think there’s something more going…” his eyes widened as he came to a realization. “Benny, it’s Valentine’s Day.”

“Yeah and we agreed we’d do something for Dean and Cas after we get out of here.”

“Valentine’s Day, moron, remember yesterday when the boys went to town _on their own_ to shop for us?”

Benny’s brows creased “Wait a minute…”

“And the herbs our mothers use in can only be bought at that shop in New Orleans.”

Benny groaned and rubbed his temples “Son of a bitch.”

There was laughter from around the corner “Took you long enough” Dean said, Cas and the parents trailing after him. “Cas and I met your parents yesterday.”

“Uncle Pierre made the introductions” Cas put in.

Neither Benny nor Balthazar found they could do anything other than gap like fish.

Jean-Luc and François were again grinning like Cheshire cats and trotted over to their sons. “We like your boyfriends very much” François said.

“Your uncle does too” Jean-Luc said “We were having lunch with him when he spotted them across the street.”

Trixie took a breath “And then your fathers came up with the idea to pretend we hadn’t already met them and act like you least expected. Revenge you see, for keeping them secret for so long.”

“Dean and Cas were happy to go along with it” Rosie added.

François patted Balthazar’s shoulder “It was ever so much fun watching the two of you squirm.”

Benny and Balthazar glared at their boyfriends who were smirking annoyingly. Balthazar huffed and said “And we were gonna take you both to an AC/DC concert next month, such a shame that won’t happen now.”

Dean’s smirk fell and Cas looked puzzled. Benny looked at Balthazar and said “We weren’t gonna…”

“Shut up!” Balthazar hissed.

Dean rolled his eyes “I didn’t believe you anyway.”

“Let this be a lesson to you, boys” Jean-Luc said “and hopefully this won’t happen again.”

“It won’t” Benny said “I think we’re in it for the long haul.”

Balthazar nodded “Now, if you’ll excuse us, parental units, it is Valentine’s Day.”

The twins laughed “Off with you then.”

“We’ll have dessert some other time” Trixie said. “Do come back for Easter” she told Dean and Cas “so you can meet the rest of the family and bring your brother’s too.”

Dean blinked “Sam’s got his own family.”

“Bring them all” Rosie said “the more the merrier. We have this huge Easter egg hunt for the kiddies.”

Benny shared a look with Balthazar who sighed and said “I don’t even want to think about it right now.”

“Same.”

**Author's Note:**

> Yes, I'm planning an Easter story eventually.  
> As for nephew Remy, believe what you want because I don't know how he snuck in here. BUT I MIGHT do an optional coda or something later. I would also like to do the story of how B&B met D&C but we'll see.


End file.
